Real talk: dating at any age is a rollercoaster, but being stuck in a "situationship" in your late 60s? It’s giving unnecessary stress. A reader recently wrote into advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith about her three-month-long entanglement that feels more like a casual hookup than a budding romance. Despite the instant spark, the guy is keeping things low-key—living an hour away, sticking to weekend visits, and leaving the initiate-contact heavy lifting entirely to her.
She feels like she’s living off "crumbs" and is terrified that being upfront about wanting more will send him packing. We’ve all been there—the fear that expressing a basic need is a total mood killer. But Gordon-Smith is here to tell you that’s a major L.
Don't Voldemort your desires
Gordon-Smith argues that treating your needs like they are too intense or scary is exactly why you feel so insecure. By "Voldemort-ifying" your wants—making them things you can't even name—you’re just adding to the anxiety. Asking for clarity isn't an ultimatum; it’s just info.
Why it matters
At the end of the day, someone either wants to be with you or they don’t, and your silence isn't going to change their core motivation. Gordon-Smith’s advice is simple: life is way too short to play games just to hold onto something mediocre. Presenting your desire as a calm, confident statement—rather than a demand—is actually a major flex. It’s better to know where you stand than to stay trapped in a situationship that isn't giving you what you deserve.
