The doomscrolling struggle is real
We’ve all been there: the news cycle is absolutely unhinged, the vibes are off, and suddenly you’re three hours deep into a rabbit hole of despair. But for one reader, this has become a full-blown relationship crisis. Their partner—a U.S. expat living abroad—is perpetually locked in a cycle of consuming intense American news, from opinion pieces to viral clips. It’s affecting their quality time, their conversations, and even their mental health, leading the partner to spend their nights crying while the other scrolls in bed.
Reframing the 'why'
Advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith notes that for many, staying hyper-engaged feels like a civic duty. When the world feels like it’s burning, looking away can feel like a privilege you don’t deserve. But here’s the reality check: these platforms are literally designed to keep you in a state of high-alert, transfixed horror because that’s how they secure those ad dollars. It’s not 'responsible citizenship' if you’re just exhausting your own emotional battery until you’re empty.
How to shift the energy
Instead of fighting a losing battle by telling your partner to just 'stop,' Gordon-Smith suggests two major pivots:
- Make it about your needs: Instead of policing their habits or calling them 'wrong,' communicate how it’s impacting you. You are the primary authority on your own emotional wellbeing. Tell them, 'This cycle is draining our time together, and I need us to find a different balance for our sake.'
- Channel the outrage: If they’re deeply invested, don’t ask them to stop caring—ask them to start doing. Consuming infinite information without an outlet is just a recipe for total burnout. Suggest organizing, volunteering, or getting involved in local community action. Small, tangible victories are the ultimate antidote to the doomscrolling spiral.
Why it matters
Real talk: being 'politically engaged' shouldn’t cost you your relationship or your sanity. By shifting from passive consumption to active involvement, you stop the news from eating your home life alive and actually put that energy to work for the causes that matter.
