We’ve all seen that one parent on the sidelines. You know the type: screaming at the ref, losing their cool at literal teenagers, and just generally ruining the vibe. But what happens when that person is your partner of 25 years? A recent reader wrote into Annalisa Barbieri’s advice column feeling like they’re lowkey falling out of love because of their partner’s toxic behavior at their two sons' football matches.## It’s giving main character syndrome The partner in question is super competitive—a trait the reader initially found attractive. But at the games, it’s evolved into something far more cringe: shouting, criticizing, and swearing at kids. The reader has tried to call him out, and even the kids and coaches have tried to intervene, but he’s ghosting their concerns. The experts are weighing in, and the consensus is pretty clear: this isn't just "being competitive," it’s just being an arsehole. Psychotherapist Lucy Fuller suggests that this behavior might be a reflection of how the partner was raised, or potentially a projection of his own frustrated ambitions. Is he living vicariously through them? Is he angry at himself? The behavior is basically a loud, obnoxious form of communication.## Why it matters If your partner’s behavior is making you lose respect for them, it’s not just a minor annoyance—it’s a major disconnect. The advice here is to try having a serious, calm conversation away from the heat of the game to figure out why he’s acting this way. If he can't self-reflect or show empathy for how his outbursts are impacting his own kids, it might be time to set a hard boundary: stay off the sidelines. Real talk: your peace of mind matters more than his toxic sideline energy.