Embalming: A look at what really happens behind closed doors

Let’s be real: talking about death is a massive mood killer, and most of us prefer to keep it that way. But for Victoria Bilstein, a funeral director and embalmer, it is a career she has been passionate about since she was 10.

Real talk: embalming isn't legally required for every funeral, even if it feels like the default. While it was once the go-to, the NFDA says burial rates are dropping as cremation gains popularity. Still, for families who want a public viewing or need to transport a loved one across state lines, it’s a go-to process.

The process

When a body arrives at a funeral home, things start with paperwork and identity confirmation. Once the fam gives the green light, the embalmer cleans the body with disinfectant soap. They also do "feature setting"—which is exactly what it sounds like: ensuring the eyes and mouth are closed and the body is posed peacefully in the casket.

Then, the chemistry starts. Embalmers use two main steps:

• Arterial embalming: Using a machine to pump a formaldehyde-based solution into the arteries while draining the blood through a vein.
• Cavity embalming: A tool called a trocar is used to remove fluids from the chest and abdomen, replacing them with concentrated chemicals.

It usually takes one to three hours, though more complex cases—like those involving trauma—take much longer.

Is it cold and detached?

Bilstein pushes back hard against that idea. "I view embalming as something that’s very dignified and respectful, and an act of caregiving," she explains. From washing hair to moisturizing skin that gets dehydrated during the process, it’s all about honoring someone's life. Sometimes, if a body has experienced trauma, embalmers even do reconstructive work just so families can have that final viewing.

Why it matters

If you're planning for the future, knowing your options is a major W. Embalming is one way to preserve a body, but refrigeration is also an option if you want something less invasive and more eco-friendly. Understanding the process can help you make decisions that actually bring your family comfort when they need it most.